I was raised to be an independent woman, and though it’s a beneficial trait, it didn’t serve me so well when I entered motherhood.

When my first was born, I naively thought I could keep doing all the things of running a household after bub arrived.

But I began to harbour lots of resentment and bitterness towards my husband in the months to follow.

The early days of motherhood felt incredibly lonely.

When I finally voiced my frustrations about 18 months later, he was floored.

He said to me “You never asked, how would I know what you need if you don’t ask?”

I expected him to proactively help which hardly happened.

I expected him to read my mind, sense out the situation and just know what needs to be done.

The crux of the matter was that I simply didn’t ask.

Fast forward a few years and I was pregnant with our second.

This time round I came across a book called ‘The Fourth Trimester’, written by @kimberly.ann.johnson

In this book, Kimberly encourages the mum-to-be to sit down with her support person / people and talk about how they are going to collectively share the responsibility of raising a baby, and run a household during the fourth trimester.

It seems tedious to do because a lot of it is common sense… but we can’t assume that everyone is on the same page unless we communicate expectations.

There’s that word again.

Becoming crystal clear about what I needed from my husband PRIOR to birthing my baby was an absolute game changer.

I became better at asking. I became a better communicator. I became better at receiving help.

Safe to say that I felt 200% supported by my hubby after my second was born.

Moral of the story, ask for help. Motherhood isn’t meant to be a solo project.

I hope this inspires you to let go of that independent streak and surrender to receiving some help.

Till next time Devi 🙂